Just friends

Its an age old question: Can guys and girls really just be friends ?

I’ve never been part of the girl clique like most girls. I don’t have Rachel and Monica to sip coffee with at Central Perk. I don’t have standing brunch dates with Carrie,Samantha and Charlotte. And I definitely don’t go shoe shopping with Serena on 5th Avenue.

I am and always have been “one of the boys” and most of my guy friends can vouch for it. I don’t think about them sexually and I don’t want to marry any of them. They are the people I hang out with, go partying with and play beer pong with.

Which doesn’t mean I don’t like girly things. I love talking about relationships and shoes and bags. I even have a guy friend for that, and no, he is not gay.

My question is: Is it possible to maintain this relationship or is there always danger of it being contaminated? Also, does this affect my relationship more than I think it does ?

While sitting on the couch, eating popcorn and watching Eurotrip, I am definitely not attracted to any of my friends. But we’ve all heard famous claims “ And then one night, we got really drunk..and I don’t know, it just happened”. How can it possibly happen if this person is a platonic friend you’re not attracted to ? Why is there no danger of this ever happening with one of your girlfriends or guy friends ? And most importantly, why is the the significant other always jealous of the oppposite sex friends but not the same sex ones ?

If you’re in a relationship, I think the only way to make friendship work with the opposite sex is to give priority to your relationship. it sounds cliched and restrictive, but the truth is, no one has that much self restraint. If you have a single attractive male or female friend, then there is definitely going to be a time where you are attracted to them, and you will be tempted to act on it. Its just easier to be around a friend of the opposite sex rather than your signifcant other.

If you’re single then make the rules clear and just practice self control. Honestly, I don’t know that many couples who were BFFs before getting married. There probably always was an attraction that just got addressed because someone got dumped, someone’s suddenly single or my personal favorite, beer goggles.

In all honesty , a lot of the same problems just get magnified when friends of the opposite sex are involved. The issue probably always existed, but its easier to let go of it and give your partner the benefit of doubt when its with a friend of the same sex.

So forget calling your fav guy or gal friend, dial your partner. Who knows, you could probably talk about Louis Vuitton with your guy or shoot some hoops with your girl!