Comfort Zone

I recently celebrated a really fun Indian festival called Holi. Think color,water,music, food and if you really want to go all out, you drink the extremely delicious and potent 'Bhang',a  milky drink containing..ahem..weed.

Any Indian kid growing up in India has got to have experienced this at least once. In the Bay area, Asha organized this event at Stanford, Palo Alto, with lots of color, water, music and Indian food. Check out the link

http://www.ashanet.org/stanford/events/holi2010/index.html

I went with a bunch of friends and had a great time. As expected, we all got separated once we entered, but that didn’t stop me from having fun with total strangers. Maybe it was the festive season, the great weather or the feeling of merriment that made me have some unbridled fun.

Or maybe it was the fact that I was colored up and felt liberated :) . When I think about it now,I am surprised at myself and the fact that I was comfortable in a strange surrounding with non familiar people. Most people are uncomfortable mingling with total strangers and letting their guard down unless there is some sort of social lubricant, usually alcohol. Having a drink makes it so much easier to blend with a strange crowd and have fun.

Once the color rubs off though, your guard is automatically back there and you go back to the familiar. But sometimes, you end up with something new – a new friendship, a new perspective, a new sense of confidence.

It’s kind of like having a one night stand. The general opinion is that, people tend to regret it once the effect of the alcohol wears off. However, there are cases, less known for sure, but there are cases, where you end up with something new by exploring into the unknown.

The point is, getting out of your skin and doing something new doesn’t always bite you. It’s easy to stick to what’s safe and not put yourself in a position to regret something, but taking risks is what makes the whole game exciting. And excitement shouldn’t be under rated. Being comfortable feels good and easy, but it also stops you from growing. Being comfortable makes you feel like the king of the small pool, but it also restricts you to just the pool. Getting out there into the ocean might make you more vulnerable to shark attacks, but also gives you the opportunity to experience something you didn't know existed.

If you need a little color or alcohol to be uninhibited, then by all means, go for it. Keyword being little. Walking piss drunk into a bar with color all over your face is not going to be a pleasant experience. But hey, it'll be something new :)

**Disclaimer: This article in no way promotes casual sex or one night stands!

The Nice Guys

I was speaking with a friend of mine a few days ago and she was updating me on her love life, or rather the lack of one. She ended things with her current boyfriend because he was “too nice”. Now, I know I put too nice in quotes, but I do understand her statement. I almost never hear girls say they are attracted to the nice, sweet responsible guy. We always seem to want the badass, mysterious guy who we know is going to hurt us and leave us to pick up the pieces.

From the time we were young and thanks to numerous romantic movies, I think every little girl pictured her knight in shining armor riding up on a white horse, swooping in at the right moment to rescue us. Rescue us from what? That, I don’t know. Maybe a life too mundane, too difficult, too lonely.

We grow up and when this fantasy doesn’t turn into reality, we are disappointed. We think life is unfair and we have been deprived of our prince.

I always thought, maybe the reason the elaborate fantasy isn’t working out is not because there is no knight in shining armor riding up to you on a white horse, but maybe because you choose a motorbike over the horse and the the bad biker in the leather jacket over the knight in shining armor. Ever think of that?

On the same note, I wanted to take a minute to thank all the nice guys out there:

Thank you for being a good friend and not taking advantage of us when we were confused and drunk that one night
Thank you for being responsible and making sure that we didn’t lose our purses in the crowded bar
Thank you for being a shoulder to cry on as we moan about the bad boy who broke our heart.

You are under appreciated and over looked and I firmly believe the world needs more people like you.

My point is, it isn’t always fate or destiny if things don’t turn out like you expected. It isn’t fair to categorize the entire male population as evil and decide you are the victim. It is because somewhere along the way, you decided to pick something else.

My suggestion: The next time you are approached by a nice, sweet guy, appreciate the fact that he has mustered the courage to come talk to you, to compliment you and is interested in actually getting to know you. Pretty soon, the bike gets too rough to ride on, and you’ll wonder if that horse wasn’t that slow after all! :-)