I think that by far the most over used word in a relationship is the word "space".
I need space
I think we need some space
Give me space
Phsycailly, emotionally, mentally. And its the one thing that hits home pretty hard for most people. The fact that someone demands space from you denotes that you're stifling them.
When used correctly, space is a good thing. It's a positive thing. Having space in a relationship denotes that you are comfortable, secure, strong and capable of doing things on your own.
However, this term is used so loosely now that it feels like a negative thing. Whenever things get tough, the single line "I need space" is enough to push the other partner away and alter things so profoundly that makes it impossible to go back to the "good space" - the comfortable, secure relationship that you were in.
More often than not, "space" leads to being on a break and finally, in my opinion, a break up. I know of successful couples who made it work after a break.But, is it because, the break was really good for you? Or because you felt the need to find out what else was out there after a while and having found nothing, decided to come back?
Relationships are made to move forward, not backward. You meet someone, you date, you become exclusive, you spend more time together, you get married and so on. If you're at the exclusive stage, how is it helpful to start dating other people? Similarly, if you're with someone and you decide to take a break, how is it making your relationship stronger?
One of the major differences between men and women is: Women always want something someone else has,
men always want it till they have it. Women covet what other women have - shoes, bags, clothes and sadly, men. On the other hand, men want the diva, the drama queen, the vixen, but as soon as they have the woman and she shows her true sweet side, they don't want it anymore :-)
Cliches are sweet and romantic for a reason. I wonder if we've become so jaded that we find reasons to not enjoy the obvious and find reasons to ruin what we have just to shake things up? My friend recently posted a status on facebook ' If your relationship status is 'It's complicated', maybe its time to stop kidding uourself and change it to 'Single'. At the time, I thought it was just funny, but now I realize, its the most simple, true logic ever. If your relationship still feels 'complicated' after a while, maybe it is time to stop kidding yourself.
I need space as well. But, thats because I was recently at my friend's house in her king sized bed and now I have to come back to my queen sized one :-)
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Space theories
Posted by Chaos Theory at 12:17 AM 0 comments
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